Self-talk: How do you speak to yourself?
This week, I want to talk about the importance of self-talk. I believe how you talk to yourself plays a huge role in your self-esteem and confidence...
Happy New Week Everyone,
Self-talk is the running dialogue inside our heads. This consists of the things we say to ourselves both consciously and subconsciously. We can say positive things to ourselves but sometimes we can say some things that are more destructive than productive. What we say to ourselves can have a huge impact on how we feel, the way we see ourselves, and how we see the world.
Negative self-talk comes from having preconceptions such as not being good enough, deserving, or being able to do anything right. This can lead to low self-esteem and a lack of self-confidence. Negative self-talk robs people of an optimistic and fulfilling life. Positive self-talk is switching these negative preconceived ideas to uplifting ideas such as ‘I can do better next time’ or ‘I will learn from this mistake’.
There are various benefits of positive self-talk:
Helps to reduce stress- positive self-talk helps you reframe the way you view stressful situations. Having a mindset that regardless of obstacles that come your way you are capable of getting through it. Not underestimating your ability and understanding that if things don’t work out you are still proud that you did your best. Tackling stressful situations with the point of view of “I can do this” rather than “I’m stuck and there’s nothing I can do to change this” opens you up to new possibilities and ways of problem-solving.
Helps to boost confidence and resilience- ever since I’ve consciously started practicing positive self-talk and thinking I’ve noticed a boost in my confidence and resilience. I am confident in my ability because I psych myself up by repeatedly saying “I am able”, this gives me the confidence to face my challenges head-on and when you do this, you see that you are able. It’s a psychological switch, confidence is built by facing challenging situations.
Helps build better relationships- insecurities have destroyed many relationships. Negative self-talk such as “I'm not good enough for this person” or “I'm not deserving of a relationship with this person” can ruin a lot of good things for you. When you are confident and self-assured in yourself you are able to build healthy and fulfilling relationships with great people.
In order to enjoy the benefits of positive self-talk, you have to consciously work on it. You first need to identify what type of negative thinking and self-talk you engage in. You need to know the root cause before solving anything. When you understand this, you can start retraining your thoughts.
Negative self-talk can look like this:
Blaming yourself when things go wrong
Seeing things only as good or bad, no in-between or grey areas
Only focusing on the bad or negative in any scenario and dismissing all good and positives
Always expecting the worst
Some or all may apply to you but once you identify which category you fall in you can start working on reprogramming how you speak to yourself. A great way to switch up your self-talk is to use positive affirmations. This can be speaking in the mirror or having visual cues such as posters or post-it notes in places you can frequently see them.
Here are five positive affirmations you can get started with:
I have the power to change my mind
I am responsible for my thoughts and responses to the situations life throws at me
I am proud of myself and how much I’ve grown
This is an opportunity for me to learn and grow as a person
I am capable and strong enough to get through this
It is important that we are in control of our minds and emotions. You have to make a conscious decision to work on your mind frame. Once you work on the internal it will reflect in the external. It has been a journey for me to work on my self-talk and confidence but it’s one of the best things I've done. In this new week, tune into yourself, take note of how you speak to yourself and do what you can to switch from negative self-talk to positive.
Have a great week!
Subomi
Something interesting to listen to- I dropped a new podcast episode have a listen!